Home
FRIENDS ONLY   
07:45am 28/07/2005
 
mood: contemplative
music: Thursday

I can't recall who the hell I gave this web address to, but i'ts friends only now- leave me a comment + i might add ya- i may have to be bribed, so send naked pics or swedish fish + that'll score some brownie points.		  
     16 stories falling | Post
 
back in time   
11:27am 24/10/2003
 
mood: drained
music: romanza
::sigh::

long day at work in my plastic square went by pretty slow. through all of the fog i was looking foward to going home and relaxing, maybe watching a dvd.

tiring drive home w. joy. we work in the same building, and live together. i need space.

spanish guitar playing in my mind as i scurry to the front door. the house key is stuck on my pewter sex keychain (2 figures; you move a man's foot back and forth and he enters and exits a woman...)

i slide open the heavy glass door and look on the floor at joy's dog. he is shivering. she clucks at him, it's okay, she's home now. i flick on a switch. nope.

ME "huh"

we try another lightswitch. nope. frige is dead. stove is dead. everything is dead.

she screams "no fucking electric!?"
ME "i've been giving you $$$ to pay the bills. we already have no tv en now the electric is off?"
~

i feel like a child again. i remember when the only things we had were a radio and bunkbeds. i remember, and i don't want to. i need space.

i run scared into my cold bedroom, open a tank and shove the stiff ball python under my shirt. he stretches out and starts to slide up my sore, flat abs. ME "good ur not dead"

i throw on a black jacket and scarf, and sitting with the snake and pretty in pink dvd ask BRI if the snake can stay at his place overnight.
~
ME "ah nothin, the heat in my room's just fucked up"

he is deathly afraid of snakes, hates them and thinks they are the most disgustin thing on the earth. so i get no help in carrying the tank to his car and out into his house. i get home round midnight.....

and it's fucking snowing. house keys are in my right hand, and i bring that hand to my face and just stand there. then i play with the sex keychain, while standing in the snow, outside of my dark apt.

open the door, walk inside. i have tons of keychain flashlights stuffed in my pocket. creeping to my room i pass joy's room. she and the dog are on the bed, candels everywhere.


there are 3 new candels in the livingroom. i guess she went shopping but couldn't pay the damn electric bill.

2 white
1 red with jesus' somber face on the front.
~
ME (loud voice) "uh joy, there's a jesus on this candle. i'm taking one of the white ones"
JOY "it'll be back on tomorrow. the phone company called and i had to pay them $$$ too"
ME(whispering to myself) "goddamnit. i gave you money for that"
~

sleeping comfortably wasn't too bad. i hate wearing clothes to bed but it wasn't horrible settling for an old slayer tshirt and thong. + i've got every comforter i own piled on top of me.

in the morning i feel like i've been blasted to the past. hair in a long, red and black braid draped messily over my shoulder, i run to the bathroom with a lighter and candels.

the bath feels so fucking good. i stare at the sillouets of shampoo bottles and my long legs. steam rises from my body and dances with the candle flames. i close my eyes and hold my head under the water. overflowing with different emotions the hot liquid pushes at my eyelids, trying to get in....pleading for me to let the tears out.

that bath- my space....

i can't stay here for much longer		  
     7 stories falling | Post
 
note   
12:01pm 17/06/2003
 
mood: quixotic
music: pink
i left a note for my madukes last night:


"Corona,
water is leaking
lizard is dead
dog shit all over himself

See you later,
The Queen"

ahh, the life of me		  
     Post
 
"I feel so optomistic"   
11:23am 16/06/2003
  ~~~
did grocery shopping: sushi, miso soup, orange juice, lucky charms and cookie dough.

spent some time with the dads + peeps sund. talked w/ STEVE about good ole' times and his new band. must be fun. i'd love to sing in a band and trip around onstage... hopefully i'll see him again.

hung w/ the car club 2. BARB showed. love when he makes faces at me when noone's looking. that boy cracks me up with his, "ooh i'd eat her ass, wouldn't you?" hahaha

cityMIKE wanted me to hang but i said i was busy. then he emailed me cuz he's leaving for vac/NC thurs and still wants to chill. i'm getting the idea that he's a bit smitten. poor boi.

~~~

"...Go-rilla Cunt-illa
Sammy D and Salmonella
Come with me 'cause i'm an ass killer
You're ill but i'm iller..."

~~~		  
     3 stories falling | Post
 
   
10:15am 18/10/2001
 
mood: amused
I seize his ass in my left palm, grab both of his hands with my right. Slamming his arms into the air he grins, but why? Is he surprised? Is he nervous? That divine grin says “uuughh, how did she— what did I miss? she caressed me with merciful cravings, taunted me with her experienced eyes, but..”

He doesn’t see that the smallest gestures, kissing his third eye and nibbling on his knuckles means that the Thirst is unbearable. I’ll have him I will. But I just want to play. I don’t want money or dinner or a place in his society. I want a meaningful overnight relationship. I want to wake up the next morning with polaroids and dead flowers and the whole bed to myself…so leave afterwards.
And don’t be surprised when I can’t take it anymore and I think of you to play with at some random moment. Hours sucked from your life and eaten by me. This masochist does miss you though. carpe noctem		  
     10 stories falling | Post
 
 
psyvamp
 
 

Advertisement